Pandemic Daze? Find Something New. Stay Sane. Escape the Loop.

It's been five months. That was when my son's school decided to transition to online learning for the remainder of the school year. That was when I started working from home full time. That was when the quarantine began. 

I'm not telling you anything new. The COVID-19 pandemic has changed everything for everyone. Wearing masks, social distancing, staying home. Every day feels the same, like we're stuck in the movie Groundhog Day. Wake up. Find my son on the couch watching videos. Log in for work. Make coffee. Answer emails. Sit in on video conference calls. Complete tasks. Log out. Endure. 

Wash. Rinse. Repeat. 

My wife is unable to work from home. After being furloughed for about a month, she has returned to work. She wears a mask all day, but she also gets to interact with people face to face. I never thought I'd be jealous of being able to socialize at work. 

I never truly knew the meaning of "ennui" until now. In fact, I didn't even know how to pronounce it. EN-YOU-EE? EN-NEW-EYE? Try again. ON-WE. Of course. Stupid French. 

Despite the challenges that the pandemic imposed on our social lives, I thought playing music would provide some comfort. 

And it did. For a while. 

I finished March right on track with my banjo and fiddle playing goals. Even though I knew the pandemic would mean I wouldn't be attending any jams or festivals in the near future, or for the rest of the year, I felt positive I would keep up the pace on my playing goals. 

Little by little, as each month passed, I fell further and further off my benchmarks. At the end of June, I was 1 hour short of my banjo playing goal and 10 hours short of my fiddle playing goal. A month later, I was behind the pace by 2.5 hours on banjo and a whopping 22.5 hours on fiddle. 

I lost my drive. I felt stagnant. I was in a rut. Welcome to the pandemic daze. 

Despite sitting in on a couple online events, including a jam and a couple of fiddle workshops, I felt very disconnected from the music. I tried to fill the void by buying way too many records, more than doubling the number of books I normally read, binge watching TV shows and movies, and trying to get myself back into running more regularly. Fiddle and banjo took a back seat. 

Maybe that's what I needed, or maybe I just needed to find something to spark my interest again. Something new to tickle those dopamine centers in my brain. Something to keep me sane. Something to help me escape this seemingly endless loop. That's why I decided to sign up for an online fiddle course. 

Over the last year or so, I've been contemplating taking some lessons to help me correct my rhythm issues and set me on a path toward more successfully learning fiddle tunes by ear. There are a couple local teachers I respect. However, with the pandemic, in-person lessons are not an option. 

My recent experiences with online fiddle workshops showed me I wouldn't be satisfied with online lessons. I had a hard time seeing clearly what was happening, and I decided it didn't suit my learning style. If I'm going to spend that kind of money, I want to sit knee to knee with the teacher and not feel limited by technology. 

The online fiddle course features 40 videos, teaching tunes and techniques with a focus on rhythmic bowing. The videos are edited well, and broken up into easy to identify sections. After three weeks, I'm feeling much more focused and motivated to play music. 

We're all different and likewise have different needs. If you're finding yourself struggling in this time, don't succumb to ennui. Find something new that provides you with a sense of discovery and escape the pandemic daze. There's nothing that says you have to stay on the path you're on. If you're bored with the journey, make a change.